tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-83640093695098832542024-03-08T16:02:57.386-08:00The Gospel According to Little TimmyWaynehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11090815112287433554noreply@blogger.comBlogger1125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8364009369509883254.post-61692914804534850842008-04-06T08:42:00.000-07:002008-04-11T08:48:04.298-07:00The Gospel According to Little Timmy<div style="text-align: left;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://tunnel19.com/eric/timmy01.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 200px;" src="http://tunnel19.com/eric/timmy01.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /></div>Written by Wayne Chambliss<br />Illustrated by <a href="http://www.tunnel19.com/eric/">Eric Sweet</a><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://tunnel19.com/eric/timmy02.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 200px;" src="http://tunnel19.com/eric/timmy02.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: left;">"Suffer the children..."<br /> -Jesus<br /></div><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://tunnel19.com/eric/timmy29.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 200px;" src="http://tunnel19.com/eric/timmy29.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />Timmy and Tommy played in the sandbox.<br />Now they both have chickenpox.<br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://tunnel19.com/eric/timmy28.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 200px;" src="http://tunnel19.com/eric/timmy28.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />Timmy's sister wiped her snot, watching Cinderella.<br />At first, he didn't feel so hot. Now he's got Rubella.<br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://tunnel19.com/eric/timmy12.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 200px;" src="http://tunnel19.com/eric/timmy12.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />Timmy and Tanya sat in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g. Cooties aside, what's gross is<br />Timmy got mononucleosis.<br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://tunnel19.com/eric/timmy03.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 200px;" src="http://tunnel19.com/eric/timmy03.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />Timmy has asthma?<br />He has, ma.<br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://tunnel19.com/eric/timmy04.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 200px;" src="http://tunnel19.com/eric/timmy04.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />"Grrr! Grrrrrr! Je suis le loup-garou!" Timmy, it's lupus,<br />doofus.<br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://tunnel19.com/eric/timmy05.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 200px;" src="http://tunnel19.com/eric/timmy05.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />Timmy's dyslexic; he can't read worth a damn.<br />Good thing he likes anagrams.<br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://tunnel19.com/eric/timmy06.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 200px;" src="http://tunnel19.com/eric/timmy06.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />"Artistic! Artistic!" everyone's cheering.<br />Poor Timmy: autistic, and hard of hearing.<br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://tunnel19.com/eric/timmy07.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 200px;" src="http://tunnel19.com/eric/timmy07.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />The little girls' or little boys' room?<br />Timmy is XX Chromosome.<br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://tunnel19.com/eric/timmy08.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 200px;" src="http://tunnel19.com/eric/timmy08.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />I like Coke. Eugene prefers Pepsi.<br />Timmy suffers from epilepsy.<br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://tunnel19.com/eric/timmy09.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 200px;" src="http://tunnel19.com/eric/timmy09.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />Timmy likes to eat fish tacos Friday and Saturday nights.<br />So do his intestinal parasites.<br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://tunnel19.com/eric/timmy11.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 200px;" src="http://tunnel19.com/eric/timmy11.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />Aye, Timmy. You can watch I CLAVDIVS.<br />Just keep an eye on your IV's.<br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://tunnel19.com/eric/timmy14.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 200px;" src="http://tunnel19.com/eric/timmy14.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />Timmy's kitty is a Siamese.<br />So is his brother--they were joined at the knees.<br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://tunnel19.com/eric/timmy15.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 200px;" src="http://tunnel19.com/eric/timmy15.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />Ah, Timmy. A barbershop quartet's<br />no sort of life for a kid with Tourette's.<br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://tunnel19.com/eric/timmy16.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 200px;" src="http://tunnel19.com/eric/timmy16.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />Timmy has a harelip. His mother has a beard.<br />In front of one the other was reared.<br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://tunnel19.com/eric/timmy17.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 200px;" src="http://tunnel19.com/eric/timmy17.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />Timmy's like, "Yo, those dogs gotta go, sis.<br />I got toxoplasmosis!"<br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://tunnel19.com/eric/timmy18.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 200px;" src="http://tunnel19.com/eric/timmy18.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />Timmy shouts, "Look at me, ma!"<br />But she can't: it's leukemia.<br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://tunnel19.com/eric/timmy19.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 200px;" src="http://tunnel19.com/eric/timmy19.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />Unlike Mikey, Timmy cannot eat his Wheaties.<br />Type-1 diabetes.<br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://tunnel19.com/eric/timmy20.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 200px;" src="http://tunnel19.com/eric/timmy20.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />One towel says HERS. One towel says HIS.<br />Timmy's says HIV.<br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://tunnel19.com/eric/timmy21.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 200px;" src="http://tunnel19.com/eric/timmy21.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />Timmy doesn't really fit in<br />without Ritalin.<br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://tunnel19.com/eric/timmy22.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 200px;" src="http://tunnel19.com/eric/timmy22.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />Timmy's chums grew less collegial<br />the more they knew of his tail vestigial.<br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://tunnel19.com/eric/timmy23.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 200px;" src="http://tunnel19.com/eric/timmy23.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />The cow is of the bovine ilk. Timmy dwelt in another bracket,<br />until he contracted Creutzfeldt-Jakob.<br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://tunnel19.com/eric/timmy24.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 200px;" src="http://tunnel19.com/eric/timmy24.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />Timmy did a little dance, a dance that did delight us,<br />but it was spinal meningitis.<br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://tunnel19.com/eric/timmy25.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 200px;" src="http://tunnel19.com/eric/timmy25.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />Timmy met a bumblebee and whacked it with his sock.<br />Now he's in anaphylactic shock.<br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://tunnel19.com/eric/timmy26.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 200px;" src="http://tunnel19.com/eric/timmy26.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />Timmy's mother is Haitian. His father is from Korea.<br />One day it's constipation. The next, it's diarrhea.<br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://tunnel19.com/eric/timmy27.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 200px;" src="http://tunnel19.com/eric/timmy27.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />Timmy had a little fever. He took two aspirin, stayed at home.<br />Now he has Reye's Syndrome.<br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://tunnel19.com/eric/timmy10.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 200px;" src="http://tunnel19.com/eric/timmy10.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />Timmy's sleep is very deep. That's the trouble with kids.<br />They sleep, and sleep, and sleep, and sleep, and sometimes it is SIDS.<br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://tunnel19.com/eric/timmy13.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 200px;" src="http://tunnel19.com/eric/timmy13.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:130%;" ><br /></span><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="font-family:georgia;"><span style="font-size:100%;">Nothing recedes like recess.</span></span></span><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:130%;" ><br /></span>Waynehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11090815112287433554noreply@blogger.com4